Overcome and Thrive

How to Find Your Value

 

Where does your value originate?

Who is the perfect person to determine your importance, worth, and usefulness?

How would your mindset, dreams, and faith change when you KNEW and lived in your priceless value “in-Christ?”

What is Value?

The dictionary defines value as: held to deserve; importance, worth, or usefulness. Whenever you hear the word value, you often associate it with the words, self-worth, and self-esteem. The dictionary defines self-esteem as: confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect. Both definitions place you or other imperfect people as the one who determines your value.

Origin of Your Value

Because you’re not born knowing your value as the creation of God, you determine your value from your messages, beliefs, experiences, and the world’s ideals first. To know you are valued is one of your ultimate needs. When you don’t hear messages affirming your value, or you are treated with disrespect as you grow up,...

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#1 Need: To Feel Loved

I cringed in Physical Education Class when the teacher asked two people to pick teams. I was usually the last one chosen. Oh, the humiliation and shame I felt for not being as good as anyone else.

Their rejection amplified my feelings of not being worthy to be loved by my parents, as a little girl. The messages and experiences in my life had deceived me into believing I was less than others, and therefore, less loveable. My deception of identity, low self-esteem, and feeling love-starved left me struggling to know I was truly loved for the first forty-three-years of my life.

Ultimate Need to Feel Loved

Your ultimate need to feel loved is the primary driving force in your life because it establishes a deep heart connection you are designed to live in. We were created from God’s love, to live in His love connected through Christ. Therefore, we have an inherent drive to keep searching for Christ’s exceptional love in a personal relationship with him.

Unfortunately, we are...

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Guide to Finding Safety and Provision in Christ

At the age of thirty-two, I found myself with two children and $40 in my purse running from my abusive husband. I had to choose to trust God to guide my next step or to give up and go back to certain death. I had a responsibility for my choice and a consequence to face.

I had found some security in the provision of food and shelter from my abusive husband. However, it came at the cost of all safety, love, and value. Now I knew I had to step out with Christ and find the resources and security I needed from professional people to keep my children and me safe.

God’s Truth

As I studied God’s word, I read, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26 NIV

If God takes care of the birds, He will take care of my children and me. It was my choice to believe in his faithful promises. I had to live like I believed God was good and He...

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Secret Guide to Our 5 Invisible Needs

If someone asked you to write down what you need to survive, the top three answers would be food, water, and shelter. These three things are vital for your physical needs. However, you also have ultimate invisible needs that must be met for you to thrive in life.

World View

A psychologist, Abraham Maslow developed a Hierarchy of Needs. He created a list of people’s needs to help us understand our invisible needs. His order is listed below.

  • Self-actualization: Using abilities and talents, pursuing goals, seeking happiness, parenting, choosing a mate.
  • Esteem: Ego, self-confidence, independence, freedom
  • Love/belonging: Friendship, intimacy, family
  • Safety: personal, health, financial
  • Physiological-food, water, shelter, sleep

Although Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has helped us understand the complexities of people, it only focuses on our physical and mental needs. It doesn’t look at our spiritual side. You can’t separate, ignore, or escape the mental, physical,...

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How to Thrive in Your Unique Identity

Billions of dollars are spent annually on advertising telling you how to fix or improve yourself. The world’s messages deceive you into believing that who you are is not good enough. They lead you to subconsciously believe that you were created defective—according to their imperfect ideas and measures.

The Hook of Deception

The world doesn’t celebrate or accept your uniqueness because if they do, they have no influence or control over you. The media builds images for young girls and boys to follow that are unrealistic and unhealthy. They don’t take into account your bone structure or your healthy body size.

You also add more pressure on yourself to conform to the world’s ideals when you have grown up feeling love starved, with low self-esteem, and like you don’t fit in. The standards of the world can make you think that if you become what they want, you will feel loved, valued, and like you belong. The lure of having your needs met keeps you...

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Uncover the Truth: Your Identity’s Not from the World’s Value

“If only you were prettier, skinnier, or smarter, then you would be the perfect wife for me. But you can’t change who you are, so I guess I’ll just have to take what you give me.” My second abusive husband told me these statements all the time. He used the manipulation of devaluing me to stay in control of how I viewed who I was.

Although his words hurt, somehow deep inside I knew he was wrong. He had to be wrong because Jesus loved me. My questions began my quest to find out who I was according to Jesus.

Your Beginning Can be Deceiving

Even though I had been a Christian since the age of seven, I thought I was a child of God AND what other people said I was. Because we aren’t born knowing God’s word we can be deceived. My deception began at an early age, which is true for most of us.

My mother was Native American, and she grew up on a reservation. She was abused in every way until the age of sixteen. The broken condition of my mom’s body...

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Top 3 Identity Lies Christian’s Believe

“Lies and secrets, they are like a cancer soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.” – Cassandra Clare

The very first lie came from Satan. He knew what would appeal to Eve and Adam in the Garden of Eden. He crafted his lie around their identity, to be like God. The devil knew how to tailor his temptation while including the very words God spoke to Adam and Eve.

In the Bible God warns us that Satan masquerades as an “angel of light.” However, the disciple John tells us. “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44 NIV

In every lie the devil uses, he will have a strand of the truth. He twists it with an enticing element tailored to your individual flesh desire or weakness. As a child of God, ask the Holy Spirit to empower you with discernment to see the devils lies. He will...

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Cracking the “Who You Are” Code

Do you know who you are? How does knowing the origin or nationality of your DNA through ancestry websites help you know who you are? Discovering your ancestry became a $1 billion industry in 2017. It’s clear that people are trying to figure out who they are, however, are they secretly being distracted from finding their true identity from God?

Finding Yourself in the World

The world’s messages constantly tell you that you must find yourself. It encourages you to be independent; to explore any and all desires without considering the consequences to yourself or others; and to define yourself and your value through fame, fortune, power, and material possessions. Subconsciously you also define your identity from the positive and negative messages you have heard and through your life experiences.

The world deceives you into believing who you are comes from your messages, experiences, feelings, failures, and accomplishments. The danger of believing the world’s definition...

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3 Top Questions About Lust from Christians

  • What’s the difference between love and lust?
  • Isn’t lust normal and how can it be harmful if it’s in your mind?
  • How can lust be dangerous?

These are the top three questions I am asked when I discuss lust with my Christian peers and clients. When you grow up in the world’s broken definition and design of love, the devil does all he can to make you believe lust is normal in your Christian life. If you don’t know the truth of God’s word, lust can become a stronghold in your mind. "For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world." 1 John 2:16 NIV

What is the Difference Between Love and Lust?

Because we each have our unique understanding of lust and love, let’s look at the same definitions and aspects of lust and love, to make sure we are all on the same page.

Lust is defined in the dictionary as a strong sexual desire. Lust fantasies are...

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Love Fantasy and Domestic Abuse

“As long as I look and don’t touch, I’m all yours.”

I overheard a husband telling his wife after she confronted him for staring at a beautiful woman all during their dinner. I remember the pain I felt in my abusive marriages hearing the same hurtful rationalization. My heart ached for her.

Why People Choose to Live in a Love Fantasy

A fantasy is defined as the activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable.

You’re probably wondering, if love fantasies are bad, then why do people choose to live in one? People create love fantasies to avoid seeing or dealing with the unhealthy issues in their marriage. When you realize your spouse is not the prince or sweet queen they were at the beginning of your relationship, subconsciously you may create a love fantasy to cope with your painful reality.

Instead of facing the truth and dealing with a personal or relationship issue, you choose to create a happily-ever-after fantasy. If...

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